The Question of Imposed or Chosen Rituals...

...just came to mind as I was up walking my poor dog at freakin' 6:15 AM - she has some kind of stomach bug. I was completely annoyed with her because she woke me up three times to go out in the middle of the night! I went to bed late and planned to be up by 7:00 to get to a friends by 8:00 to walk 11 freakin' miles as a training walk for next week's half marathon. I am tired! But when I realized this fourth time my pup wasn't feeling well...I felt pretty bad.

Nonetheless, it is in the moments I don't think I can possibly think about anything when thoughts come to me. And while I was walking Love, I started thinking about the narrative evaluations we just had to write over the winter break on our students.

While this is an "imposed" ritual - it is part of my job, one of the things that is part of what we do at Tempe Prep at this time of year, every year - it is also a vehicle for connection. It is a formal way of writing down what I observe about each of my students, and therefore, as I dwell, ruminate, and try to find ways to best describe what I "see" and have experienced, I am making a deeper connection with myself and the student. I am contemplating and then communicating in a very thoughtful way what I believe to be true about each student I teach.

This narrative then is read by the student's parent(s) and often by the student. For the most part, I don't get much feedback from parents. However, once in awhile I do. When the narrative points out a student's difficulties, sometimes I hear back from an irrate parent who feels that their child was treated unfairly, or from a parent who is extremely concerned about what to do. If the evaluation is mostly positive, it is rare I hear back at all, though sometimes I get a "thank you" - and don't get me wrong: sometimes I get a "thank you" on a not-so-hot evaluation (it just depends on the parent). But the thanks or the worry or the anger aren't the point. The point is that a connection has been made. And hopefully, the parent(s) and their student will have a conversation about the evaluation and another connection will be made in that way too.

An email from a parent to my co-teacher and I:

Ladies!

My husband and I just had an opportunity to read your thoughtful and perceptive comments about [Student].

Boy, do you guys have her pegged.

[Student] has always done well in school...but never before has she LOVED school like she does now. Even Math! I can not begin to tell you how blessed we feel that: #1. She got into TPA, and #2. That she has you both as her teachers.

Nicky, if she could overcome her fear of failing, or looking silly, (which does, I agree, come from a fierce streak of perfectionism), I know she would be a much happier kid. Opinionated...refusing to look at things from another's perspective...if we could nip that in the bud, her family would not be exhausted from arguing with her about every little thing!:-) Of course, she won't hear it from us.

We thank you for all that you both do to motivate and encourage her. You are the best!

I wouldn't choose to write a narrative on my break. But I get whay it's important to write them. I appreciate the ritual of it.

Then I started thinking, I choose the rituals I perform prior to going to work every day: journaling, meditating, taking what I've deemed an "awareness walk" with my dog. I also choose the rituals that go on in my classroom - our opening/closing bow, tea parties that culminate books we've read in Language Arts, vocal and physical warm-ups in Drama....etc. However, while I choose them, these rituals are imposed on my students. My students don't get a choice in most of the rituals they are asked to participate in. Yet they seem to learn from them and make connections with themselves, their peers, me, our classroom work, and to the greater world at large.

So what can I glean from this question? I hadn't thought about it before this morning. I imagine I will be exploring this one a bit more. Just wanted to make sure I got this down before I go on that crazy walk and then come home and crawl back into bed.